Robert Forto

stephen king

31 Nights of Horror 2013

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For more than a decade we have participated our own version of 31 Nights of Horror here at Forto’s Fort.

Each night we watch a different scary movie starting with Trick R Treat and ending with the Stephen King classic, Carrie.

This year we tried to include some that we have never seen before including, I Spit on Your Grave. It was very disturbing and would not recommend it to anyone. Attack of the Crab Monsters. Beyond cheesy! Strippers vs. Zombies. Terrible! and Monster Brawl. Like professional wrestling with monsters. It sounded cool, but wasn’t.

We are already planning for next year and we are going to try to make it an all classic monster movie bash! Stay tuned…

31 Nights of Horror List 2013

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Horror Lovers Challenge: Horror Musical

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I am participating in a 30 day challenge. This time it is all about horror! If you know anything about us here at the Fort you would know that we are hard core horror fans. Each October we watch a movie each night in what we dub as “The 31 Nights of Horror.”

Day 4: Horror Musical

This is a movie I have to check out durning this year’s 31 Days. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead has got to be one of the craziest independent horror musical films of all time. Has anyone seen it?

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31 Nights of Horror. Night 20: The Shining

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Jack Nicholson in the famous “Here’s Johnny” scene
Jack Nicholson in the famous “Here’s Johnny” scene (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Shining (1980) is one of my favorite movies. I have watched it so many times that I can practically cite it line-by-line. It is a great story, even though is does not stay on pace with Stephen King’s story all that much.

Jack Nicholson is brilliant. He nailed the role of “Jack” and set a standard for every other creepy stalker guy in film today. Did you know that he ad-libbed the now famous, Here’s Johnny!, line and it wasn’t in the script?

Danny (Danny Lloyd) is great as well. Did you know that he was told during filming that the movie was a drama so that he wouldn’t get scared.

Also did you know that the outside shots of the hotel are actually the Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood in Oregon? Contrary to popular belief the hotel Estes Park, Colorado, The Overlook Hotel, was not the hotel in the film. It was used for the made-for-tv version of the movie.

Also did you know that almost all of the movie was filmed on sound-stages in London.

What is your favorite scary movie?

 

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NaBloPoMo: Are there monsters under your bed?

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I am participating in the NaBloPoMo challenge for May. It should be a fun one. It is titled: Play.

Toady’s topic: Are there monsters under your bed?

That’ s a good question. For the better part of a year I slept on a queen mattress on the floor of my bedroom in Alaska while I was renovating, or shall we say fixing up, the place that I aptly call Forto’s Fort. (Then my wife finally moved up and we had to get a proper bed frame).

So with the mattress firmly in place on the floor, there was absolutely no way that monsters could live under my bed. Dust bunnies the size of Great Danes, yes. Monsters, no.

That doesn’t mean that they don’t lurk in my closet or in the attic. Boy do I have a story to share…

It was shortly after the winter solstice, the shortest days were upon us in Alaska which means it is only daylight for a few hours during the day. The rest of the time we are blessed (or some would say a cursed) with darkness for long periods of time.

Around midnight as Michele and I settled into bed and drifted off to sleep I could hear faint music coming from what sounded like the attic. It sounded like old-timey tunes from the roaring 20s. You know that Big Band stuff?

It kept playing and playing until I got up the nerve to get out of bed and go check it out. I thought maybe I left the TV on or one of the kids had iTunes going or something. Nope not at all.

The music continued to play. It sounded scratchy like it was on an old phonograph or something.

Lying there still as a board we couldn’t help but lay there and listen. You couldn’t quite make out the words but you could definitely hear the music.

At some point we drifted off to sleep.

There are some nights you can still hear the music playing in the attic. Spooky isn’t it?

I guess it doesn’t help that I am a huge horror movie fan and I have read just about every word that Stephen King has ever printed.

Monsters under my bed? Nah. Poltergeists in my attic? Let’s hope not!

______________________

Robert Forto is mushin’ down a dream in the wilds of Alaska. He and is wife are raising two teenagers at Forto’s Fort.

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Bingo Night at the Willow Winter Carnival

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On Friday night, Michele and I decided it might be fun to go play some BINGO! Yep, Bingo. I haven’t played since I was a kid and neither one of us had any idea what we were in for.

The night started off innocently enough. We arrived in a near blizzard to a packed Willow Community Center. It was the annual bingo night at the Willow Winter Carnival. An event that has been going on for 51 years. Not, bingo, I don’t suspect, but the winter carnival is a big deal in this little hamlet of about 2,500 people.

We paid out 22 bucks for a packet of bingo cards and two Dab King blotter thingys that will probably leave stains from here to Sarasota, and grabbed a seat in the back of the room.

Suddenly I had a weird feeling pass over me. I felt like we were in that movie, Pleasantville, starring Reece Witherspoon or maybe even that Stephen King novella, You Know they Got a Hell of a Band. It was freaky. This live and in techno-color event in this little village, or whatever they are calling it, was bordering on the bizarre and I didn’t even have a cool muscle car.

The games started and we grabbed some cheap, buck-a-piece snacks and listened to a “true Alaskan” as she worked the P.A. The “Willow Queen” worked the room checking the winning cards and dolling out the cash.

As I said the room was packed with what looked like a lively crowd of median 50 aged bingo blotters. But something was missing….

I didn’t see any rabbits feet, good luck trinkets, or any of those munchkin troll dolls with the weird hair.

Michele and I played only two cards a piece per game. Remember we are bingo virgins here. Beside and around us people were playing so many cards that they might need the F.A.A. to keep track of all their dots.

In the middle of games like snowplow, northern lights and straight bingo they paused for the real entertainment of the evening. They gave away door prizes of hamburger sliders, hot off the grill I might add, and a case of 30 weight motor oil. I have told you they do thing different in Alaska right?

The lady that mans the post office was dolling out pull tabs by what looked like the hundreds and it looked like very few people were earning their money back.

But what caught by surprise is the comic relief of the evening. It was a middle aged guy in a pair of Dockers and one of those visor hats with the fake hair on top. You know the ones I’m talking about…

Check these out, folks:

1. Do you know why golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one! Ha Ha Ha.

2. I got this lady an AM radio and she was upset because she wanted one that played in the afternoon!

3. Do you know why nurses carry red pens?

In case they have to draw blood!

I know. Don’t even comment on it.

We were there till well after 10 pm and blew about 30 bucks. No bad for a cheap date night. But for some it could become a G.A. (Gambler’s Anonymous) nightmare. There was so much money flowing through that place that I am surprised Wells Fargo and Company didn’t have an armed guard manning the cash box.

The sad thing about it was we didn’t win one game. Heck, maybe that’s a good thing because I would have probably made a fool of myself jumping out of my seat to yell

BINGO!

What do you do on your date nights with your sweetie?

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