Hey Guys and Gals, its that time of year again– The glorious over-exuberant, hyper-manic Christmas shopping season! If you are like me and love to lavish our loved ones, friends, and family with gifts and hate going to the mall to fight the traffic….

Hey wait a minute, now that I am living in the middle of no-where in the Great State of Alaska, the Mall of America, one of my favorite hang outs by the way, is over 4000 miles away, I will be forced to procure gifts by alternate means.

I have been known to order some crazy things in the middle of the night from 1-800 numbers and a guy named Billy on TV, so much so that my wife has hid my wallet on occasion.

[ Rewind: Gifts that NOBODY wants! ]

But this year, I am going to showcase some of the greatest gifts known to exist for sale at 2 am. Yes, my rabid reader, I am going to give you the gift ideas of all gift ideas. So sit back and relax, find those credit cards you stowed away during the Great Recession and warm up your touch-tone (or maybe even rotary dial) phone and order away.

I bring you 25 Days of AS SEEN ON TV GIFT EXTRAVAGANZA!!

Deluxe Doggy Steps are ideal for senior or small dogs needing help to get onto couches or beds or just those overly obese pooches that eat way to much cheese. These steps are easy to assemble and the plush acrylic cover is machine washable. Recommended for dogs up to 70 lbs.

Order yours today– but you’d better hurry Christmas is right around the corner. I bet you can’t wait to see the joy on their faces when they tear open the package and finding a Deluxe Doggie Step. Well look at it this way, it’s not a can of Simonize!

Available today for $27.95 (plus shipping and handling, sorry NO C.O.D.’s)