30 Days About Me. Day 18: Wedding Talk

This month I am participating in a blog challenge. It is 30 Days About Me from the blog, a Daily Dose of Toni. While I think I am the only guy participating I have met a lot of great people by reading what they have to say.

The point of any blog challenge is not necessarily the topics, at least not to me. It is about the story that you craft and mold that makes you unique.

With that all being said, todays topic is Wedding Talk. Now, like I mentioned, I am guy. Guys don’t talk about or care about weddings. We show up in a rented tux with a couple of our buddies as our best men and hope that the ring fits. Sure it is a special day. It should be unless are Billy Bob Thornton (5 wives include Angelina Jolie).

I take all that back. My wife is going to kill me!

What amazes me is that today there are more than 1000 online dating sites with an annual take of more than $932 million dollars. The most popular are Match.com and eHarmony.com.

Before I continue I need to rant just a little about eHarmony.com and their pitchman/dating guru Neil Clark Warren. I mean come on, The only people on this earth that use their full name, including the dreaded middle name, are reports about serial killers on the nightly news,

Internet dating weirdos like Warren,

and your mother! I don’t know how many times my mother stated my full name but I know when she did I was in BIG trouble.

Robert Nicholas Forto get over here right now! You better get over here or wait till your father comes home!

I can safely say I didn’t have to wait for my dad to get home too many times. I knew if mom included my middle name she meant business and I had better do what she said or else.

Now back to the freaky online dating world that we live in. Did you know that 30% of America’s baby boomers are single? That seems like quite a few. I guess that means if you are single that one in three friends of yours are too and you should have a pretty good chance of hooking up.

But hold on a sec, now these dating services are offering webcams for dating. Webcams? And the new thing is virtual dating. Akin to the video game The Sims—that is just plain wrong.

Come on people–why is it so hard to get in the car, drive over to the club, coffee, shop, pub, dance hall, discotheque, wine bar, cocktail lounge, dive bar, piano bar, spots bar, ice cream social, Tupperware party, or speak easy and introduce yourself?

If you are a guy–change your shirt, shave your whiskers, comb your hair and splash on a bit of Brut or Old Spice and go out and meet a “nice lady”.

Quit sitting in front of a computer screen hoping to meet the woman of your dreams. Not only is it just plain wrong, it’s creepy.

The reason you are single in the first place is probably because you sit at home in the dark in your ‘man cave’ playing video games and talking to people on Facebook you don’t even know.

Or it could be that your chosen aftershave is Aqua Velva or always wearing Crocs with socks.



I’m just sayin’…

So while today’s topic was supposed to be wedding talk, I have probably scared every red blooded American male into submission and they are all running down to the WalMart Supercenter to buy a new brand of “smell good stuff”.

If you are a lady, I firmly believe it is you that wear the pants in the family. Always have, always will. There is nothing wrong with that. Heck, we buy you flowers and chocolates and take you to the nicest places for dinner and may even serve you breakfast in bed. What do we get out of it? A new weed eater for our anniversary and a honey do list hanging on the fridge.

Seriously folks, my sarcastic humor gets me into trouble sometimes. But my wife loves me for it. We have been married for ten magnificent years and I am happy to call her my bride.

Tieme se mmhalla, Michele.


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