Robert Forto

Holidays

Horror Lovers Challenge. Day 2: Best Sex Scene Murder

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Halloween (2007 film)

I am participating in a 30 day challenge. This time it is all about horror! If you know anything about us here at the Fort you would know that we are hard core horror fans. Each October we watch a movie each night in what we dub as “The 31 Nights of Horror.”

Day 2: Best Sex Scene Murder

I have chosen Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007). Zombie has always had a knack for going over the top. He did this to the extreme with the sibling rivalry between Michael and Judith.

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As Seen on TV Gift Extravaganza. Day 3: Deluxe Doggie Steps

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Hey Guys and Gals, its that time of year again– The glorious over-exuberant, hyper-manic Christmas shopping season! If you are like me and love to lavish our loved ones, friends, and family with gifts and hate going to the mall to fight the traffic….

Hey wait a minute, now that I am living in the middle of no-where in the Great State of Alaska, the Mall of America, one of my favorite hang outs by the way, is over 4000 miles away, I will be forced to procure gifts by alternate means.

I have been known to order some crazy things in the middle of the night from 1-800 numbers and a guy named Billy on TV, so much so that my wife has hid my wallet on occasion.

[ Rewind: Gifts that NOBODY wants! ]

But this year, I am going to showcase some of the greatest gifts known to exist for sale at 2 am. Yes, my rabid reader, I am going to give you the gift ideas of all gift ideas. So sit back and relax, find those credit cards you stowed away during the Great Recession and warm up your touch-tone (or maybe even rotary dial) phone and order away.

I bring you 25 Days of AS SEEN ON TV GIFT EXTRAVAGANZA!!

Deluxe Doggy Steps are ideal for senior or small dogs needing help to get onto couches or beds or just those overly obese pooches that eat way to much cheese. These steps are easy to assemble and the plush acrylic cover is machine washable. Recommended for dogs up to 70 lbs.

Order yours today– but you’d better hurry Christmas is right around the corner. I bet you can’t wait to see the joy on their faces when they tear open the package and finding a Deluxe Doggie Step. Well look at it this way, it’s not a can of Simonize!

Available today for $27.95 (plus shipping and handling, sorry NO C.O.D.’s)

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As Seen on TV Gift Extravaganza: Day 5

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Hey Guys and Gals, its that time of year again– The glorious over-exuberant, hyper-manic Christmas shopping season! If you are like me and love to lavish our loved ones, friends, and family with gifts and hate going to the mall to fight the traffic….

Hey wait a minute, now that I am living in the middle of no-where in the Great State of Alaska, the Mall of America, one of my favorite hang outs by the way, is over 4000 miles away, I will be forced to procure gifts by alternate means.

I have been known to order some crazy things in the middle of the night from 1-800 numbers and a guy named Billy on TV, so much so that my wife has hid my wallet on occasion.

But this year, I am going to showcase some of the greatest gifts known to exist for sale at 2 am. Yes, my rabid reader, I am going to give you the gift ideas of all gift ideas. So sit back and relax, find those credit cards you stowed away during the Great Recession and warm up your touch-tone (or maybe even rotary dial) phone and order away.

I bring you 25 Days of AS SEEN ON TV GIFT EXTRAVAGANZA!!

Day 5 Gift: Easy Feet

As Seen on TV Gift Extravaganza: Easy Feet

Todays gift profile is probably one of the most bizarre and only intended for the special someone on their list who is either very lazy or has EVERYTHING and you are down to a gift like this just so that it doesn’t end up in the closet or worse; the trash!

But when you think about it, it is pretty innovative. It sure beats slipping in the tub or have to paste those cool little flower gripy things on the tub floor. But hey they do come in lots of cool colors don’t they?

Available today for $14.95 (plus shipping and handling, sorry NO C.O.D.’s)

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31 Days of Horror. Day 9: Thinner

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Every year we have a tradition in the Forto house where we celebrate the greatest month of the year, October, with scare your socks off, hide under the covers, turn on all the lights, sleep with one eye open, fright fest, movie marathon every night of the month! We call it 31 Days of Horror.

Day 9 Movie: Thinner

Plot: A fat Lawyer finds himself growing “Thinner” when an old gypsy man places a hex on him. Now the lawyer must call upon his friends in organized crime to help him persuade the gypsy to lift the curse. Time is running out for the desperate lawyer as he draws closer to his own death, and grows ever thinner.

What is your favorite scary and/or Halloween movie? I would love to hear from you!

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