Robert Forto

blog challenge

30 Das About Me. Day 29: Who Has Gotten You Through the Most?

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I am participating in a blog challenge this month. It is 30 Days about Me from a Daily Dose of Toni

Today’s topic is Who Has gotten you through the most?

That is simple it is my wife Michele.

Michele is my biggest supporter and my number one fan. She has been by my side during the good times and the bad. She is my constant defender and my biggest advocate. She has allowed me to pursue my dreams and even makes me chicken soup when I am sick.

Follow my news and updates on Twitter, my whereabouts on Foursquare and  relationship status on Facebook. Or send me a telegram.

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30 Days About Me. Day 25: Best Friends

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I am participating in a blog challenge this month. It is 30 Days About Me from the blog a Daily Dose of Toni.

Today’s topic is who are your best friends?

My best friends in the whole wide world are the 4710 Facebook friends I have. That’s right all 4710 of them. I can’t have any more best friends because Mark said so. Mark isn’t even my friend. But hey he makes the rules. Don’t you hate bullies?

Facebook has a policy that you can not have more than 5000 friends (and/or page likes). They say that a person can not possibly know that many people. Duh! Way back before Facebook Pages were the big thing for businesses, blogs, celebrities, brands and bands everyone just used their used plain ole’ Facebook account to gain followers/friends. This was may back in the stone ages. 2009 to be exact.

Now when I try to add friends and/or pages that I like I will get a pop-up message that says that I need to delete some friends or pages before I can accept new one because my limit has been reached.

It takes effort to un-friend someone. Plus it’s just plain rude.

Think about it folks. Why do some people take such a deliberate and conscious effort to un-friend someone that they probably don’t even know? Did they say something that you didn’t like. Do they post too much? Did you disagree (oh, forbid) on a post and you got so upset that you hit that un-friend link on the bottom left?

Come on guys! Don’t take life so serious. Facebook is meant to be engaging and thought provoking (at least to me). It is the speak easy club of the 1930s, the sit in of the 1960s, the AOL chat room of the late 1990s.

So what do you use it for? Sending people like me Farmville, Mafia Wars and Cityville requests? I get a bunch of them every day. I am not interested!

Or are you one of those that keeps your Facebook account only for family and ‘real’ friends and you connect socially on obscure accounts like Path, Meetup, My Yearbook, Orkut and Hyves.

I got news for you people, none of your friends–real, imagined, or virtual–are on any of those sites. Just look at MySpace.

So if you want to be my BFF or heck even just connect with me I will have to kick someone to the curb. How would you feel if that happened to you? I know, I know, it brings back painful memories of high school where the popular guys and gals didn’t want to include you in the gum chewing session by their lockers or worse yet you were the last guy to be picked for a game of kick ball.

But I think we should go back to a more simpler time. Way back to the era of one, Mister Rogers. That’s right good ole’ Fred. Sportin’ his cardigan and changin’ his shoes.

At least he wanted to be your neighbor. And if you didn’t want to he even begged.

Those were the good ole days. 

 

Follow my news and updates on Twitter, my whereabouts on Foursquare and  relationship status on Facebook. Or send me a telegram.

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30 Days About Me. Day 18: Wedding Talk

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This month I am participating in a blog challenge. It is 30 Days About Me from the blog, a Daily Dose of Toni. While I think I am the only guy participating I have met a lot of great people by reading what they have to say.

The point of any blog challenge is not necessarily the topics, at least not to me. It is about the story that you craft and mold that makes you unique.

With that all being said, todays topic is Wedding Talk. Now, like I mentioned, I am guy. Guys don’t talk about or care about weddings. We show up in a rented tux with a couple of our buddies as our best men and hope that the ring fits. Sure it is a special day. It should be unless are Billy Bob Thornton (5 wives include Angelina Jolie).

I take all that back. My wife is going to kill me!

What amazes me is that today there are more than 1000 online dating sites with an annual take of more than $932 million dollars. The most popular are Match.com and eHarmony.com.

Before I continue I need to rant just a little about eHarmony.com and their pitchman/dating guru Neil Clark Warren. I mean come on, The only people on this earth that use their full name, including the dreaded middle name, are reports about serial killers on the nightly news,

Internet dating weirdos like Warren,

and your mother! I don’t know how many times my mother stated my full name but I know when she did I was in BIG trouble.

Robert Nicholas Forto get over here right now! You better get over here or wait till your father comes home!

I can safely say I didn’t have to wait for my dad to get home too many times. I knew if mom included my middle name she meant business and I had better do what she said or else.

Now back to the freaky online dating world that we live in. Did you know that 30% of America’s baby boomers are single? That seems like quite a few. I guess that means if you are single that one in three friends of yours are too and you should have a pretty good chance of hooking up.

But hold on a sec, now these dating services are offering webcams for dating. Webcams? And the new thing is virtual dating. Akin to the video game The Sims—that is just plain wrong.

Come on people–why is it so hard to get in the car, drive over to the club, coffee, shop, pub, dance hall, discotheque, wine bar, cocktail lounge, dive bar, piano bar, spots bar, ice cream social, Tupperware party, or speak easy and introduce yourself?

If you are a guy–change your shirt, shave your whiskers, comb your hair and splash on a bit of Brut or Old Spice and go out and meet a “nice lady”.

Quit sitting in front of a computer screen hoping to meet the woman of your dreams. Not only is it just plain wrong, it’s creepy.

The reason you are single in the first place is probably because you sit at home in the dark in your ‘man cave’ playing video games and talking to people on Facebook you don’t even know.

Or it could be that your chosen aftershave is Aqua Velva or always wearing Crocs with socks.

 

 

I’m just sayin’…

So while today’s topic was supposed to be wedding talk, I have probably scared every red blooded American male into submission and they are all running down to the WalMart Supercenter to buy a new brand of “smell good stuff”.

If you are a lady, I firmly believe it is you that wear the pants in the family. Always have, always will. There is nothing wrong with that. Heck, we buy you flowers and chocolates and take you to the nicest places for dinner and may even serve you breakfast in bed. What do we get out of it? A new weed eater for our anniversary and a honey do list hanging on the fridge.

Seriously folks, my sarcastic humor gets me into trouble sometimes. But my wife loves me for it. We have been married for ten magnificent years and I am happy to call her my bride.

Tieme se mmhalla, Michele.

 

Follow my news and updates on Twitter, my whereabouts on Foursquare and  relationship status on Facebook. Or send me a telegram.

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30 Days About Me. Day 15: Dream House

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I am participating in a blog challenge this month. It is 30 Days About Me from the blog a Daily Dose of Toni.

Today’s topic is describe your dream house.

As many of my rabid readers know, I bought a cabin last summer that we have affectionately names, Fortos’ Fort.

But if you know me, you know that I am always looking for something a bit outside the box.

Contrary to my wife, Michele’s wishes and a resounding, NO WAY!

This is my dream house:

 

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30 Days About Me. Something I am OCD About

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I am participating in a blog challenge this month. It is 30 Days about Me from a Daily Dose of Toni

Today’s topic is something that I am OCD about.

Well I guess today is the day that I pull back all the layers and you see what is under my skin. My deepest, darkest, secrets that few have ever seen and sometimes I am afraid to even mention….

Well, this is not a horror thriller or a look into the psychotic mind. No, it just a few things that I am OCD about. No, I do not count to 10 and then backwards all day long or turn on and off (and on and off…) the bathroom light, nor do I only eat cheesy potatoes for every meal and nothing else.

They are in no particular order:

  1. If I am on a plane or in a movie theater, concert, sporting event, whatever– no matter what I HAVE to sit in the aisle seat. I do this for one reason and one reason only– FIRE! In case of a fire I am boogieing to the next exit as fast as super-humanly possible. I don’t care if the door has one of those alarm things I am getting outta there! Hmmm. Makes you wonder about the plane then? Nope. Got that covered. I have 169 skydive jumps under my belt.
  2. I have to always, no matter what, eat a slice of pizza from the pointy end.
  3. I have to shave my whiskers every other day whether I need it or not. I have tried to tell my sons that the worse thing you can ever start is shaving. Is it something that does not get better with age.
  4. It I get sand on my feet or Oh forbid! in my pants I must run, immediately at a full sprint to the closest shower and wash it off. I love the beach but I hate the sand.
  5. I absolutely freak out if I am sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. It has to be on my right side. If I am forced to sleep on the left someone is going to be cranky in the morning.
  6. Speaking of sleeping… I must have three pillows–the extra soft ones–no lumpy or hard ones allowed.

Seriously folks, these are the things that make me who I am, I guess, but my true obsession at the moment is Foursquare.

I am a Foursquare junkie. I make it a point to check in (almost) everywhere I go and I don’t care if people are stalking me or worry about privacy. If they have something to say, come over and say hi. I am a big boy, I can handle the freaky hide-behind-the-bushes guy.

Check it out. 

Follow my news and updates on Twitter, my whereabouts on Foursquare and  relationship status on Facebook. Or send me a telegram.

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