Robert Forto

big brother

Columbine, Big Brother and the Darwin Awards

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As I have said before, for good or bad, that everything in life can be paralleled to three things:

9/11

Columbine

and A Christmas Story 

On the anniversary some idiot went over the Target in Littleton (just a couple blocks from my in-laws house) and bought a couple propane tanks and walked across the parking lot to the Southwest Plaza shopping mall.

Columbine High School was closed on April 20th, as it is every year to pay remembrance to the high school shootings that changed America forever. It is hard to believe that event was 12 years ago. Kids were in kindergarten that attend the home of the Rebels now…

I digress.

This fool built a pipe bomb and started a fire around lunch time in an area near the mall’s food court. The fire was quickly seen and the mall was evacuated. Anywhere from 6,000-10,000 people are in the mall at that time of the day and possibly more on this day because school was out.

The bomb squad was called as well as the FBI and this nut-case’s pipe bomb literally fell apart in their hands.

To top it off, this idiot boards a public bus and gets is picture taken (see above) and now the authorities are in hot pursuit of their man.

If anyone deserves the Darwin Award it is the Southwest Plaza Pipe Bombing nincompoop. 

Didn’t he ever watch George Orwell’s 1984? Big Brother is EVERYWHERE. Even on a city bus. You can run but you can’t hide. But what idiot leaves the scene of a major crime attempt on a public bus?

That’s why is being called a copy-cat.

Robert Forto | Team Ineka | Alaska Dog Works | Mushing Radio | Dog Works Radio | Denver Dog Works | Daily Post

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Robert Forto is a musher training for his first Iditarod under the Team Ineka banner and the host of the popular radio shows, Mush! You Huskies and Dog Works Radio Shows


Mr. Neilsen, Big Brother and Al Gore

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Well, that’s it. Either Big Brother is watching me, or I am updating my viewing habits on iPhone apps like Into_Now too much, or I can finally quote my favorite movie scene of all time:

The other day I got a large packet in the mail from none other than Mr. Nielsen himself. Yep, that guy! The guy that wants to know what you are watching on T.V. and report back to him.

Why do they want this you ask?

So they can keep shows like Murder She Wrote and American Idol on FOREVER even though no SANE person in the world would ever get passed one episode.

By dancing with the devil (otherwise known as Mr. Neilsen) we are forced to acknowledge that C.B.S. really is the “nations #1 network.”

How can it be when most of the nation is watching repeats of Family Guy on Cartoon Network and shows that get paid by the all important baby-boomer generation.

That’s right. It all comes down to money and what they call DEMOGRAPHICS. No, that is not a high school class that is taught by Bill Clinton. It is a way to measure people by an age group by what they spend (at least in the case of Mr. Nielsen) at Super Walmart.

How do they know what we spend?

It works this way:

  1. A viewer is picked by Mr. Neilsen, just liked me.
  2. These viewers then record our T.V. watching habits in what they call “viewer diaries”.
  3. In some cases they send out cool set top boxes that record and send over Al Gore’s Internet to his Big Brother. I guess they do this so we, that are the chosen one’s, don’t cheat. I mean would we really write down in our little diaries that we are watching “Girls Gone Wild” or secretly addicted to a certain morning news program featuring an anchor on a national news network, named Robin?

But wait there is more! Mr. Neilsen sent me something else in that packet. CASH. yep, that’s right. Cold-Hard-Cash.

Two good ole’ American George Washington Dollar Bills so crisp they are sure to glide easily into one of those vending machines at the laundry mat.

I am not going to spend them however. I am going to scribble some signature on them and hang them up in my dog training school like a lot of folks do for the first dollar they earn. Sorry to say my first dollar was in the form of a check!

So, at least I know now that all the rumors are true; Al Gore and his Big Brother DO watch our every move and also know that I must change my viewing habits on T.V. especially if they send me one of those set top boxes.