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Alaska State Troopers

Psycho Circus Alaska Airlines Style

September 19, 2012 by robertforto Leave a Comment

Well, here we are again on the psycho circus, otherwise known as the cattle train to the great white north. This time it is a rare treat. I’m on one of the few combi planes in the Alaska Airlines fleet. It is unique in that it the front of the plane is loaded with cargo–most likely people’s impulse purchaes from Amazon and Ikea heading to Alaska. The paying folk sit in the back of the plane and have to walk outside and up a flight of stairs just like our Commander in Chief, P-BO, himself.

I am surrounded by guys in fake fedoras, girls with badly painted toenails and business men traveling in three piece suits. How in the world could anyone be comfortable in a clip on tie and an ill-fitting, way-to-tight vest? Why are they wearing a suit anyway? It’s a evening flight to Anchorage that arrives sometime around 2:30 in the morning. Who are they trying to impress? The tourist with the camera around his neck and a “made in China” Alaska t-shirt with a cute and cuddly moose and bear cheerily holding hands.

I have taken this trip many times over the past couple years. Each time the cargo hold of the aircraft is a little heavier with my four or five bags stuffed full of things we left behind on our move up. You know, important stuff like X-boxes, wooden bowls and coffee that’s been stashed away in the freezer at the in-laws.

In one of the bags is roughly 200 music cd’s. I have a pretty good re-sell business on Amazon.

In another is two bottles of the finest handmade Colorado whiskey that money can buy. It’s from a small distillery in Denver. This isn’t your grandpa’s sippin’ whiskey, folks. This is 94 proof, put hair on your chest liquid amber!

I had to follow a couple of regulations according to the Alaska State Troopers. THOSE guys. They have their own “reality” show on Nat-Geo. It’s funny you notice the little things when you live in Alaska and you watch that show. Things like they say they are in Palmer and in reality (oops, there’s that word again) they are busting a drugged out junkie in Shanty Town some 35 miles away up the Parks Highway.

But getting back to the whiskey. If you watch Alaska State Troopers you know that a good portion of the Greatland is “dry”. That means no alcohol allowed! The regulations if you bring distilled spirits, or anything drink of pleasure for that matter, you have to follow the rules.

They are:

*Clearly marked in no less than 2 inch letters in contrasting colors the words: Alcoholic Beverage

*A receipt taped to the box outlining the contents, quantity and price of the items there in

*and..telling the airlines,or worse the cute flight attendant in the too-tight skirt, is not an excuse if you don’t follow above.

If you don’t follow the rules there is a good chance they will confiscate your booze and you will go to jail and pay a hefty fine. Heck you might even make it on the Troopers show.

But back to the Stranahans…the name of the whiskey I’m transporting. We bring up a bottle or two for gifts. This stuff is for things that we celebrate in Alaska; hunting season, fishing season, break up, freeze up, PFD check day, or just your regular old Saturday night.

We don’t waste the good stuff on bar mitzvahs, birthday parties or Monday Night Football. That’s what Alaskan Amber (beer brewed in Juneau) is for.

Well I better end this rant here. The guy beside me is getting restless and might have to go to the bathroom. God, it must suck to pay good money for a middle seat. Buddy, did you book this trip last night?! If you have a bit of planning you can get an aisle seat.
Until next time…
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Filed Under: Alaska, Daily Post Tagged With: alaska, Alaska State Troopers, Alcoholic beverage, Anchorage, anchorage alaska, George Parks Highway, Ikea, Jumeau

Iditarod 40: Parking in Willow

March 1, 2012 by robertforto 3 Comments

At yesterday’s media briefing for the Iditarod they urged us to get the word out about the potential parking problem at the Iditarod re-start in Willow.

Living in Willow I know what to expect. Not only do we have tons of snow here but in this small village of just 2,500 people, parking is at a premium.

The re-start takes place on Willow Lake at the Community Center at about Mile Marker 70 on the Parks Highway. It is approximately an hour and a half drive from Anchorage without too much traffic.

The community center has very little parking and there will be a parking lot across the highway. This is a paid lot so be prepared with cash. It is several hundred yards to the lake from this parking lot so wear warm clothing and be prepared to walk.

Get there as early as possible. The race starts at 2 pm with the first musher going out and continues on every two minutes. The last dog team will leave Willow sometime after 4 pm. I would suggest arriving well before noon as the parking lots will likely be full by 12:30 at the latest.

The Alaska State Troopers have said that they will not allow anyone to park along the highway under any circumstances.

There are very few choices for food in the Willow area. We have a convenience store, Townsite Food Market, the Willow Trading Post and I am sure there will be vendors at the community center that sell fast food items like hot dogs and coffee. The closest sit down restaurant besides the Willow Trading Post (which is rather small) is the Houston Lodge about 12 miles to the south.

If you do drive to Willow, be prepared to spend a long time heading to and from the race start. In some years traffic has been backed up all the way to Houston and you could potentially miss the race if you don’t plan accordingly.

After the race start is over it is the same. Last year traffic was diverted for over four miles in order to increase flow. It took me two hours to drive from the Community Center to my house which is just about five miles away.

There will be shuttle service to Willow and I highly recommend that.

Here is the schedule:

2012 WILLOW RESTART SHUTTLE BUS SCHEDULE

This year with a close to record snowfall amount, we strongly encourage Willow Restart press, media, volunteers, and spectators to take one of the Willow Restart shuttle buses (see schedule below).   In Willow snow depths are reaching 10’+ and the narrow roads are even narrower, and the parking less than before.  So, we are encouraging Restart attendees to take a shuttle or at least car pool to help ease the parking issue as well as help to ease the congestion of traffic on the road and getting into and out of parking lots.

We hope everyone can help us spread this very important message. 

Anchorage Millennium Hotel:  Volunteer tickets $10 roundtrip, Spectator tickets $20 roundtrip, both can be purchased at Volunteer Registration Desk in the Millennium Hotel

Buses Depart Millennium Hotel:  8:00 AM – volunteer bus, 9:30 AM – volunteers and spectators, 11:00 AM – spectators

Buses Depart Willow for Millennium Hotel:  4:00 PM, 5:00 PM and 6:00 PM

Wasilla:   Adults $2.00 roundtrip and children under 12 free.

Buses Depart Wasilla High School: 11:00 AM, 11:30 AM, 12:00 PM, 12:15 PM, 12:30 PM, 12:45 PM, and 1:00 PM

Buses Depart Curtis D. Menard Memorial Sports Center:  11:00 AM, 11:30 AM, and 12:00 P

Volunteers can catch a bus leaving the Curtis D. Menard Memorial Sports Center at 9:00 AM

Houston:  Adults $2.00 roundtrip and children under 12 free.

 Buses Depart Houston High School: 11:00 AM, 11:30 AM, 12:00 PM and 12:30 PM

Buses Depart from Willow to Houston – Curtis D. Menard Sports Center – Wasilla High School:

4:00 PM, 5:00 PM, and 6:00 PM

ALL return shuttles will make stops at Houston – Curtis D. Menard Sports Center – Wasilla High School

Talkeetna:  Adults $2.00 roundtrip and children under 12 free.

Buses Depart Talkeetna Sunshine Restaurant: 11:00 AM and 12:00 PM

Buses Depart from Willow for Talkeetna Sunshine Restaurant: 4:00 PM and 6:00 PM

I will be covering the Iditarod everyday on my website and on the radio. Please listen in. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and check in with me on Foursquare.

 

Related articles
  • Hobo Jim at Willow Trading Post (robertforto.com)
  • Iditarod Prep (dogworksradio.com)
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Filed Under: Alaska, Daily Post, Iditarod 40 Tagged With: Alaska State Troopers, Curtis D. Menard Memorial Sports Center, houston, Iditarod, Iditarod Trail Sled Dog Race, wasilla alaska, Willow, willow community center, willow lake

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